Politics: A Moonlight story
by Donnamour1969
Summary: Josef announces his intent to get into politics. Mick has some serious reservations.Fluffy and fun, stand-alone one-shot. Rated T for language. No copyright infringement intended.


A/N: Hi! I've been busily writing fanfiction for "The Mentalist", but I got to a point where I really miss the characters from "Moonlight," like we tend to miss old friends we haven't seen in awhile. Anyway, this little scenario occurred to me and I felt compelled to share it. If you haven't read my other stories, it's not necessary that you do, although you might notice that Mick and Beth are together, and Josef is married to Simone. Oh yeah, and Beth and Simone are both vampires. Not required knowledge to get this story, but I didn't want people to read it and say _huh? _ That being said…please, enjoy!

**Politics**

MICK

"Mick, my man," said Josef to me, one rainy afternoon. "I've decided to run for mayor of Los Angeles."

Just when I mistakenly think that Josef Kostan has reached his limit on shocking statements, he pulls another one from his never-ending supply, which I'm thinking is stored somewhere in the vicinity of his ass.

"You're shittin' me," I said, my eyes drawn away from the uncharacteristic storm that had rain blowing against the high-rise windows of his office. He stopped his pacing and leaned against the front of his massive desk, regarding me with sparkling eyes.

"No, not at all. I find I've become a little bored with the life of a successful billionaire, and need a new challenge. I've never tried politics before."

I shifted in my chair and looked around the room in mock paranoia.

"Oh, I get it; Ashton Kutcher is about to jump out and tell me I've been punked."

"Mick, Mick, Mick. I'm serious about this. I've already set up an exploratory committee and everything."

I regarded him thoughtfully, then decided to play devil's advocate.

"You do realize there are certain drawbacks in a vampire running for public office…"

He waved a dismissing hand. "I know, but there's nothing I can't explain away."

"Sleeping half the day in a freezer?"

"I'm a night person," he explained, as if I were a reporter grilling him at a press conference. "And I sleep better when it's really cold. I think human doctors advise a cold room at night."

"Having to stay out of the sun?"

He caressed his face gingerly. "I"ve got sensitive skin. A family history of skin cancer. Next?"

"And tell me, Mayor Kostan, why have we never seen you eat a bite at any of those fancy fundraising dinners?"

"I'm allergic to chicken, or that weird yellow sauce they always put on chicken at events like that. You don't think I've never had to make excuses for business meetings with humans? I've lived around the weaker race for centuries. I know all the right things to say."

"And how do you explain how your business is thriving in the midst of such a deep recession here? You can't exactly tell them you kill everyone who makes you lose money. Some savvy reporter is going to stumble upon something suspicious, and you won't be able to get away with making _them _disappear."

"Come on, Mick. I eat savvy reporters for breakfast." He paused, as if lost in thought. "No wait—my last one was a midnight snack." He grinned in amusement at his own joke. At least, I _thought_ itwas a joke. "I appreciate your concerns," he continued seriously, "but I've thought it all through, and I think I can handle anything the media throws my way."

"Yes, Josef, but like you said, you've never run for public office before," I reminded him. "The media, not to mention your opposing candidates, are going to tear deeply into your background. If there are any unexplained loose ends, not only will you lose because you're caught in a lie, you may end up exposing the entire vamp community. Something tells me the rest of the Council isn't gonna be too pleased with this."

He grinned. "But Mick, I can win anyone over with my rapier wit and charm. I'll get their votes just like anyone else's."

"How?" I asked curiously.

"By making political promises I don't intend to keep, of course."

"Okay, I'll bite," I said, suddenly very curious to understand his motivations. "Like what?"

"A freshie in every pot."

I laughed aloud. "Well, you've got my vote."

"No new taxes. Change you can believe in. No more fuzzy math. Read my lips, Mick, the only thing to fear is the vast _left_-wing conspiracy."

I rolled my eyes. "You've been on the internet again, haven't you?"

"And you know what that giant sucking sound is? It's the economy, stupid." He nodded in self-satisfaction. "See, I've got the political double talk down pat. I'm unbeatable. Oh, and I'm not a crook, either." He gave Nixon's famous four-finger salute. "Ask not what LA can do for you, but what Josef Kostan can do for LA." He waggled his eyebrows. "Catchy, eh?"

"Just like syphalis," I said dryly.

Josef poured us both three fingers of scotch and we sipped our drinks companionably, lulled a little by the tapping of the rain and Josef's delusions of grandeur. A thought occurred to me.

"What does Simone think of your new political aspirations?"

He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. "I haven't told her yet."

I chuckled. "If you can't win over your wife, there's no way you'll make it in a public debate."

"What do you think she'll say?" he asked hesitantly. "Doesn't every woman want to be the wind beneath her husband's wings?"

I snorted derisively. "You really need to stop watching the _Lifetime Network_, Josef. This is Simone we're talking about here. She puts up with enough crap from you as it is. I really don't think she wants to have to do it in front of the cameras too."

He hung his head, and I suddenly felt bad for crushing his dreams. "Look, man. I'm sorry. But what kind of friend would I be if I let you take such a crazy risk? I'm just saying to you what you would to me if I chose to jump into the political cesspool. It's by far one of the worst ideas you've ever had."

He turned away from me, and for a moment I thought he was crying, if the noises coming from his shaking form were any indication.

"Hey, Josef—" I began, rising to my feet to comfort him. When he suddenly faced me again, his cheeks were creased in a huge grin, and his shaking was from barely suppressed laughter.

"Oh my God, Mick. I can't believe I got you again!"

"Huh?"

"What's the date, you idiot?"

It was April first.

"You asshole," I said. I considered throwing my shot glass at him.

He laughed harder at my annual gullibility.

"Mick, I've done this to you every year for the last fifty. And I thought last year, when I had that Angelina Jolie impersonator show up at your office that I would never be able to put one over on you again. Don't you ever learn?"

"Shut up, Josef. I swear, this is the last time you make me your April fool. As a matter of fact, you'd better watch your back next year, because you won't even know what hit you."

With that, I stormed out of his office, slamming his door so hard I heard a picture fall off the wall. I could hear his renewed laughter at my outburst, and it followed me all the way to the elevator.

Beth was waiting for me in the lobby, having enjoyed a day of shopping without having to worry about the bright sunshine for a change. I planned to take her down the road to the Stake and Fang for some liquid refreshment to celebrate.

"So," she grinned, after kissing my cheek in greeting. "What was it this year?"

I smiled back at her, marveling at how seeing her shining blue eyes always lightened my mood.

"He said he was running for mayor."

She laughed in appreciation. "He's so creative."

"I know. I can't believe he thinks I'm that naïve though. I stopped falling for his little April fool's jokes more than forty-five years ago."

"So why do you keep coming back for more?" she asked, linking her arm with mine as we headed for the stairs to the parking garage.

I shrugged. "It makes him happy. And it's amusing to see what he's going to come up with every year."

At the bottom of the stairs, she pulled me down for another kiss, this time, full, deep, and all too brief.

"You're a good friend, Mick St. John."

I smiled. "Friendship is like politics, sweetheart. Sometimes, you just gotta lie to keep your constituent happy. And maybe kiss their ass sometimes. Because ultimately, it's all for the common good."

"Maybe _you_ should run for mayor," Beth said with a smile.

"When I became a P.I., I swore to use my powers only for good. I still have high hopes for Josef. Remind me of that next April Fool's Day, will ya?"

A/N: April Fool! Lol. Thought I might slip this little story in a few days early to _really_ take you by surprise. This was fun. Maybe I'll do some more of these one-shots until I get inspired to write a complete multi-fic. Back to more of "The Mentalist" for now, but I wanted all my loyal readers to know I haven't forgotten you, or my favorite show. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear from you!


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